Friday, January 27, 2012

Faithful Friday

This is a true story...about me. It may be a little too personal, so you can skip to the end of you'd like :)

We've been trying to get pregnant for almost 6 months (I know it's not a really long time, but I've been waiting to try since Widget was two-and she turns 4 in March). Preston was in CA working, and I had some major lower abdomen pain early this week. I went into Urgent Care on Tuesday, only to find out that my pregnancy test came back positive...but because of the extreme pain I was having the pregnancy might be in jeopardy.

I was sent to a blood testing facility and an imaging center for more testing and, ultimately, the bad news. The imaging center found what they thought to be an ectopic pregnancy in my left tube. The doctor there thought the pregnancy was further along than reported, but it was hard to tell by the sonogram.

I then went back to Urgent Care to talk about my options. Pretty much the only outcome I should expect was surgical removal. We then began working to be admitted to the closest hospital-which turns out didn't take our 'type' of insurance...lame.lame.lame. So, we found a different hospital.

I had to be admitted into the ER, then we (the doctors and I---my husband was still in CA) weighed my options...and it turned out that I could either have a chemo based shot or surgery. Because of the 'size' the pregnancy measured in the sonogram, the doctors decided to perform the surgery.*The doctors decided that the fertilized egg was only about two weeks gestation.

I only have two incisions, one in my bellybutton and one much, down low...Surgery went well, and I was discharged from the hospital within an hour of starting surgery.

So, what does this have to do with my Faithful Friday post, you say? Well, I'm still trying to figure out how all of this is part of MY life...because I'm living it, not just reading about it...but it is definitely testing my FAITH. Not in the 'I'm losing faith' sorta way, but in the 'I have so many questions that I know will not be answered quickly enough' way.

The greatest sign of faith in this whole 'mess' are the people that came to my aid. My ward family (from Church) rallied to drive me to and from doctors, specialists and hospitals while others took my daughter for most of Tuesday, all Tuesday night, and most of Wednesday. A friend's husband brought someone with him to the hospital to give me a blessing. That same friend, Mandy from Sugar Bee Crafts, even picked me up from the hospital after my surgery and drove me home (including buying me a smoothie and helping to pick up my prescriptions). Mandy's cousin, Kate-also in my ward and whose husband had come to the hospital with Mandy's husband, met us at my house and then spent the night with me.

Where's my husband through all of this, you might ask? Well...he was in CA working, and I kept him in the loop the entire time. He wasn't supposed to get home until late Thursday night, but he was able to change his flights around so as to arrive mid day Wednesday. I'm glad to have had him home for a few extra days, especially since I was pretty much on bed rest all Wednesday and I'm banned from lifting anything for the next six days. Yep...that's what he is here for-doing all the heavy lifting! And the occasional massage because my back and shoulders are very very sore post surgery.

I love my Heavenly Father and I know he has a plan for my life. I'm certain I will have another opportunity to raise more children in the future, but I'm not certain when that may be-and that is where I must depend on my FAITH to keep me moving forward. My life has been so blessed and I know that I can revel in all that is good that has come my way. I have so much to be happy about and to celebrate, including the fact that the doctor was able to save the tube that the fertilized egg resided. Recovery is proving to be uncomfortable and quite tediously unfitting to my 'schedule' but life goes on. I am grateful for this opportunity to grow as a person, wife, mother, and daughter of our Heavenly Father.

I know that I'm not the only one, even in blogland, that has gone through or is going through a similar trial. I'm not sure how to overcome all the hurting I feel, emotionally and physically, but I do know that there will always be an end to my suffering-no matter how long it takes. I hope that the others that may be going through similar trials in their lives can also see the light at the end of the tunnel. The Lord does not give us trials that we cannot bear, and he will make a way for us to become stronger through them.

How has your month gone? Are you still working on your resolutions/goals?


  1. good post - loved this line: "The Lord does not give us trials that we cannot bear, and he will make a way for us to become stronger through them."

  2. I'm so sorry, Ashley! Feel better. So much easier to say than do, I know.


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