I guess I could describe this week as a neutral experience. Of course I was tried/tested...does a moody three year-old sound like a blessing after no nap?...But, this week's events did not seem so 'earth shattering' to me as events that I experienced only a few short weeks ago. I do have to tell you, however, the realization I had concerning -gulp- ME (myself and I)...my urge to keep myself sane has lead me to (incorrectly) draw inward and become self centered. I find that this action inhibits my ability to grow as a Mother, spouse, and friend...tightening the grasp on myself gave me less energy to hold onto (and strengthen) my faith...which I've decided definitely ranks as a negative aspect in my life.
I have prayed a little extra each night and throughout the day to have help loosening my clenched fist of selfishness and to turn towards my Heavenly Father. This scripture is a good example of the peace I have felt after communing with God on this matter:
1 Nephi 2:19-20 (Book of Mormon)I know I'm still far from perfect; but like Nephi, I have tried (and am still trying) to seek the Lord diligently and humbly. I have faith that if I can continue to do so and keep Heavenly Father's commandments, my family and I will be blessed by the Lord, "And inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments, ye shall prosper, and shall be led to a land of promise..."
19 And it came to pass that the Lord spake unto me, saying: Blessed art thou, Nephi, because of thy faith, for thou hast sought me diligently, with lowliness of heart.
20 And inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments, ye shall prosper, and shall be led to a land of promise; yea, even a land which I have prepared for you; yea, a land which is choice above all other lands.
Okay, so I think the "...land of promise..." is more of a state-of-mind for me (at this point in my life), but there are few better things than to be at peace with yourself and your surroundings, knowing that the Lord cares for you as an individual and has prepared a wonderful life for you to experience here on Earth---An experience that is "...choice above all other" for you in particular (this means we all have one-of-a-kind trials, failures, successes, talents, etc.). How cool is that? (especially if you think about all the people that have lived on the Earth, live on it now, and may live on it in the future...each one with a totally different journey to experience = perspective)
So back to me...j/k ;)
Wish me luck in my path to unselfishness...I need all the help I can get :)