Friday, June 15, 2012

Faithful Friday has been a long, long, time since a Faithful Friday post...
Good thing that doesn't mean that I've had such a long time between 'faith realizations'....

Well, I can say that I have been tested, as usual...but I am still breathing, I haven't yelled at my husband in days...j/k (seriously though). Something about trials in faith (or trials period) increase my stress level, which has a direct correlation with the volume of my voice. I'm not proud of this fact, but it's the truth.

Now that we are finally living in Puerto Rico, life is not magically simple, carefree, easy, or near perfect (although, wouldn't that be nice? At least for a day or two?) Nope, life is, way it should be. I still stay home with my pre-schooler who practically dances circles around me (in physical energy, spunk, attitude, and verbal runoff). I still have to decide what to feed my family (and don't even get me started on my new dinner dilemma, that's for another post). I do not have a vacuum to clean my all-tile-floors...which is a bummer (I'd pick vacuum over broom any day of the week).

But I still get ready for the day, every day (it makes me feel better about myself). I eat at least 3 meals a day (I tend to overeat when stressed, so sometimes I drop meals to 'make up' the difference in caloric intake...which is unhealthy and I'm working on will power against being unhealthy). I can work on 'school' topics with my daughter (alphabet, Spanish) during the day while the hubby is at work. And my husband and I find time every night to read our scriptures together (in help me learn, because I am apparently a super slow learner when it comes to Spanish). And, I try to pray to my Heavenly Father (personally) at least twice a day.

I'm not sharing these things to brag...far far from it...I have come a long way in the last few years, and typing these things out is a great reminder of what I have accomplished and where I can improve. And believe me, there is definitely room to improve! My Heavenly Father does not judge me against others, only against myself (He knows what is in my heart)-so that is how I should judge myself. Even my husband and I are very different in the ways we handle life (even when much of our life overlaps), but we will not be compared to each other in the end (which is awesome, by-the-way, he is so much cooler than I am). I must learn for me, implement new behaviors according to my feelings, personal inspiration, and feed back...and strive to live according to God's will and in my own capacity to do so.

Of course I struggle even though I have successes. Of course I lose my temper, but it's my actions when that happens that define me. I am a mother, wife, sister, daughter and friend (and don't forget blogger :)  )...and I should be treated as such-even by my self-in the nicest way possible. And I totally know that I am my own worst critic.

I am not perfect about only comparing myself to myself, but I know it can help my sanity. Have you noticed that when we compare ourselves to others, we compare our short comings to others successes? Our worst characteristics to their best? Doesn't that seem flawed? Flawed or not, it is usually what happens (at least in my life). Because I compare my lack of will power, when it comes to food, to the mom across the street that has a Fabulous figure and tan...which says to me that she has time to work out, she eats healthier than I, and is a natural beauty...I get caught up in superficial ideals and psych myself out of taking care of my body, since it will never look like the mom's across the street. Now, I know this is a lame way to view life, but I am human and I want to wish my 'issues' or 'trials' away instead of facing them head on, confronting, or over coming them...and re-assigning my guilt or discomfort because I do not look like someone else is a cowardly way of 'getting rid of' my hardships.

First of all, I do not tan...well, I do a little I guess, if you call the color Eggshell a tan. I have been blessed with fair sensitive skin, which is mine to take care of, and will always be a porcelain complexion. Second, just because I do not look like a super model, does not make me unhealthy. Yes I am not at 8% body fat (not even close), but I try my hardest and I have more energy to spend time with my family when I treat my body right. Third, looking 'fit' or 'in shape' does not necessarily mean anything. The mom across the street could look at herself in the mirror and only see the extra 5 lbs she cannot lose, versus all I see is near perfection, or maybe she has had plastic surgery to look like never know :) But again, this is an example of me comparing what I see as my worst assets to her best. This is why it is important to do our personal best, and not compare ourselves to someone else.

I am not perfect; I have bad days along with the good days. I have room for improvement, a lot of room, but I should not dwell in the negative. I know that I am a child of God and He has given me a beautiful body, the body which created life, and He has given me many other characteristics that make me the best Mom for my daughter. I know that Heavenly Father loves me, and wants me to succeed.

Anyway, sorry if this post is a bit ramble-y...just some thoughts I've had the last few weeks.
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