Friday, December 7, 2012

Faithful Friday

This is a funny picture that is no way related to this post, other than it's a picture of Widget and Widget is in my story.

Quick story:

My Hubs and I were singing in our Sacrament meeting at church a few Sundays back. On the way to church, we were warming up our voices in the car. I had discovered that it was almost impossible to sing with my current posture, knees to my chest due to low seat and high heels, but was trying to keep the vocal chords warm anyway. My sweet Hubs made a comment about how 'un-supported' I sounded (think breathy high-pitched singing) which I quickly countered with something like, "I know. Sitting like this makes my singing sound extra awful...I realize I sound bad."

Widget piped up with her own quick wit, "It can't get any worse-er!"


Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here to testify that 'out of the mouths of babes' are given many anecdotes to life. They see things differently than you and I, and even though my 4 yr-old often fights with me tooth and nail about the laws of physics, I am truly grateful for her refreshing view point (mostly).

"It can't get any worse-er!"

How true this statement rings at many points in our lives. Fighting back tears or anguish while trudging through the mires of self-doubt and pity, shrouded in a coat of pain while the horizon only reflects uncertainty; is an experience most of us have felt at one time or another..

"It can't get any worse-er."

I've been taught throughout my life to endure to the end, and for the most part have yet to find any other way to 'ride out' trials and hardships...even good times need to be forged, continually pushing forward. But there have only been a handful of times (you could actually count on one hand) when I've longed to give-up...even if I didn't truly understand how that would be possible.

"It can't get any worse-er?"

These past 4 weeks would have become a blur if it weren't for the blood tests I've had to attend to like clockwork (every 3-4 days). I really have been measuring time by number of blood draws made since finding out I was pregnant with an ectopic pregnancy for the second time. Because of pregnancy hormones, ectopic craziness and the lovely shot given to me to terminate the pregnancy, my body has been all out of sorts. To say I've been uncomfortable is quite an understatement.

And possibly worse than the physical aspect, the emotional pain, I'll admit, has been devastating...which includes my motivation, creative ingenuity, want to craft or blog, and desires to take care of my family and home (I guess that is also physical) all dropping to nearly immeasurable levels. My sweet Hubs has been a great help and blessing to our family as I've struggled to come to terms, as well as a couple other close friends (that have stayed at our house during this time) who were willing to give me priesthood blessings. And it pains me to say, at one point in this journey I wept while pleading to have this trial removed from me. Fully knowing that this was not possible and that all hardships are custom made for us, I have prayed for peace and faith instead and for the willingness to hand my life over to God.

"It can't get any worse-er..."

How can you really give up (short of dying) on these mortal experiences? You may throw your hands up in surrender, but very rarely do trials or hardships take no prisoners. You could possibly turn and run, but consequences are like shadows...and unless you are like Peter Pan before meeting Wendy, you cannot lose your shadow. It trails you no matter where you go.

So how can you give up or choose not to endure to the boggles my brain.

"It can't get any worse-er."

So instead of giving up, we have been asked of God to not only endure to the end, but to endure it well.

"It can't get any worse-er!"

I have made the decisions to push forward with faith, and lean on the Lord for strength (along with my family and friends, which have been a great support system). Today I choose to smile, even if my smile may droop from time to time, and I choose to stretch myself to endure the day well. Even if I can only take one day at a time, things will improve--not on my time of course, I've tried--and no matter what, the Lord loves me.

My friends and stalkers, It can't get any worse-er, it can only get better(-er)!

1 comment:

  1. *hugs* again! We love you! Btw, we got your Christmas card in the mail ... it's darling! Even more, it inspired me, for the first time in my life, to send out Christmas cards this year. Way to go! So, you can expect one from us soon :).


Thanks peeps for reading Apples By Ashley!
I love hearing from my lovely blog Stalkers, so please do not be afraid to leave a comment, make a suggestion or ask me a question below.